tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.comments2023-02-14T03:58:01.759-05:00Bread And RosesLinda Rogershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06638897185947547067noreply@blogger.comBlogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-30602207485744923912014-05-17T20:37:04.781-04:002014-05-17T20:37:04.781-04:00My father is 83. He can't walk, gets confused,...My father is 83. He can't walk, gets confused, and was a neglectful dad for years. I have had to move him six times to six different homes since his second wife died; five of those were because he is so selfish and willful the caregivers kicked him out. He just moved to the state VA home but if he gets himself kicked out of there, I will petition the state to make him a ward of the state. I am his POA but a POA can choose not to continue as POA anytime. This state is NOT a filial responsibility state either so they can't go after me for his care; good thing because I have four kids and a very low income. <br /><br />If your elderly parent was toxic or is toxic, let the state take care of them. Don't reward their toxic behavior with kindness; just walk away if you are in a state where you can. <br /><br />Don't let your toxic elderly parents ruin YOUR life again! Walk away. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-54373074238126796172014-04-04T17:00:26.608-04:002014-04-04T17:00:26.608-04:00I think one of the issues is that the organization...I think one of the issues is that the organizations creating the forms are not employing the highly trained administrative professionals that have the skillset to use advanced functions of Word and Acrobat for form creation. Linda Rogershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06638897185947547067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-57866389847665887952014-04-04T16:57:04.314-04:002014-04-04T16:57:04.314-04:00Good luck! Good luck! Linda Rogershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06638897185947547067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-54063708013580943182014-03-20T14:45:35.743-04:002014-03-20T14:45:35.743-04:00I agree with Linda. There are so much room for imp...I agree with Linda. There are so much room for improvement that it can't be explained. Hope oneday we will have a bug free system all over.Home Remedyhttps://www.facebook.com/pages/Natural-Home-Remedy/260876673959425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-73859708572408091702014-03-17T13:00:23.403-04:002014-03-17T13:00:23.403-04:00Thanks for the buffer link. That is pretty handy. ...Thanks for the buffer link. That is pretty handy. Overall you are absolutely right that no one knows better than you about your passion. Even if you shift your work to interns, you better give them a head start of what actually you are looking for.Jeremyhttp://directvsimple.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-85161041234688878902014-03-17T04:36:25.015-04:002014-03-17T04:36:25.015-04:00I agree with you completely. Most of the time it i...I agree with you completely. Most of the time it is to do with trust and let go off over thinking. It is obvious that as founder you will have un conditional passion for your org.Johnhttp://dubturboguide.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-54239337911522804572014-03-15T07:43:36.995-04:002014-03-15T07:43:36.995-04:00Very good tips for someone who is thinking of new ...Very good tips for someone who is thinking of new grant application. Wish me luck for my step forward.Jasminehttp://dubturboguide.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-11700884145670794572014-02-13T11:11:47.451-05:002014-02-13T11:11:47.451-05:00That's part of the problem, Dave but also, org...That's part of the problem, Dave but also, organizations often don't help with this situation. More often than not they rally behind the founder's syndrome leader causing collateral damage to staff and programs until things go totally off the rails. Even with high staff-turnover, or mass resignations, some organization's Boards will blame the victims (departing staff). Linda Rogershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06638897185947547067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-41983123709804638952014-02-13T11:06:32.387-05:002014-02-13T11:06:32.387-05:00Yes, that's true, Jay. If online applications...Yes, that's true, Jay. If online applications actually save time and money, I'm all for that. But unfortunately the implementation by some granting organizations just hasn't been there. Either they've missed some big picture issue (like verifying applicant information) or the forms themselves are constructed by individuals not skilled enough to construct bug-free forms. I struggled with a macro-enabled Word document recently that wouldn't work for team members on Macs. Then the organization posted a new form and it wouldn't work for me on my PC... huge amount of time wasted! Linda Rogershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06638897185947547067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-80380137276877291052014-01-14T11:03:00.756-05:002014-01-14T11:03:00.756-05:00To true.
To grow we must change and some people ar...To true.<br />To grow we must change and some people aren't will to change.<br />Davehttp://directvsimple.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-28468109415118729562014-01-14T10:53:20.526-05:002014-01-14T10:53:20.526-05:00Sorry about your battle with technology.
There are...Sorry about your battle with technology.<br />There are the good and bad aspects.Jay Shttp://dubturboguide.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-64527393021113196182014-01-04T18:19:03.363-05:002014-01-04T18:19:03.363-05:00My mother is 94 years old, & still lives in he...My mother is 94 years old, & still lives in her own house. Only recently was I able to hire some help for her. She always refused, and refused again, but I hired someone anyway. I picked someone with a personality that would mesh with my mother's, and someone who is kind, etc. I find that you just have to force some of these changes, but let them know that you know that they are still capable people,etc. You need to just take their bills home & pay them on-line, etc. Change their diets. Yes, you will have some screaming matches, but hug them & tell them you are doing this because you love them. Not all facilities are wonderful. The patient-staff ratios are less than ideal, some medicate their patients so they do not have to deal with them, etc. Hire the help to come into the home as long as you can. Our parents are old & feel safer in their own surroundings.Get meals on wheels, medic alert bracelets. When you see something that needs replacing, replace it. Take control.Yes, most of us have had issues with our parents in our childhoods. No one wants to get old, but this is life.They are old, losing their physical health, etc. - they are frightened.Realize that you must treat them with respect, but the parent/child relationship must switch in a loving way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-45525343107497162882013-10-18T20:20:39.564-04:002013-10-18T20:20:39.564-04:00Thanks for everyone's input. It's October...Thanks for everyone's input. It's October 2013 and we're in the same place everyone else seems to be. 95 yr old mother who won't admit she needs help. We had her agreement to move into a wonderful assisted living facility and she changed her mind once she got there and sulked and was just miserable and disagreeable for 2 months. We let her move back home, it's been a week and she's already giving us so much grief. She has the neighbors convinced we're awful people and they're ready to call the Elder Abuse Hotline because it took us 5 days to get her phone hooked up. She promised to accept home health care if we moved her back, but, of course has changed her mind. I'm about ready to let her take on all the adult responsibilities she claims she can handle in spite of the fact that we do so much... order meds, shopping, make appts., doctor visits, calls to come fix stuff, straightening up finances she screws up. What happened to the fairly nice lady she used to be? She's not senile enough for the courts to intervene, but she's driving the family away with this awful attitude and behavior. And, as many have said... God forbid I do this to my kids.... Doesn't seem to be an good answer.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-80836776685599132112012-12-05T16:08:57.332-05:002012-12-05T16:08:57.332-05:00In desperation I started searching and found this ...In desperation I started searching and found this site. I pity anyone who has to deal with these situations but it is comforting to know I am not the only one. You can find millions of lawyers who for fee will help take care of financial matters - which I do not care about Mom's money is Mom's money - but just try to get concrete input in these matter is non existent.<br /><br />My mother is 92, still lives on her own, needs alot of help in hygene, food prep, never leaves the apartment, believes people come in a change out things like her TV, and on and on. I have had several local health agencies with mindcare programs come by. If she lets the nurse in thats an accomplishment. ALl have given up. I was advised by one social worker to forcibly take my Mom out of the house for a routine MD appointment. Morally I cannot do that, I also don't want any legal issues.<br /><br />My wife and I are both in our second careers - still paying off 3 college expenses for 3 kids. We're trying to get ourselves ready for old age since the last 30+ years the focus was raising/educating children. My Mom is blind in one eye and quickly loosing sight in the other. Neither my wife or me can be home all day to watch over her, she refuses any type of nursing home or for that fact in home help. There is no way she'd be safe in my home so thats not possible. So what do I do??tony murauskinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-35946819154365616112012-04-19T12:50:20.384-04:002012-04-19T12:50:20.384-04:00I can identify with MOST everything people have po...I can identify with MOST everything people have posted here. My parents are in their mid-80's. They moved 2 1/2 hrs from their hometown to be near my brother a few years ago; but my dad HAD to move back to his hometown, even though my brother did all he could to help them. After a few years of living in their hometown again, I convinced them to move 2 1/2 hrs in the opposite direction to be close to me and my husband. My father was miserable the whole time he was here, even though we constantly offered to do things with them and I cooked them meals every weekend or brought in food (my husband and both work full-time). Once again, my father moved he and my mother back to their hometown a few months ago (my mother now has dementia). Right after he moved back 'home', he had hip replacement surgery at a hospital 1 hour from his home and it has been HELL on us since then (mainly my brother, since he took 2 weeks to stay with them after the surgery). My father accused the hospital that performed the surgery of abusing him, then when he insisted that he rehab at a place in his hometown and my brother found a place for him there (it's a very small town), he insisted they neglected him there too. Finally he was put in the hospital in his hometown and also insisted they neglected him there also. No one could get him to participate in rehab at all and because he wouldn't get out of bed, he now has 2 bedsores. However, he pestered the staffs so much, they finally released him to home. When my brother and his caseworker tried to discuss assisted living with him, he went ballistic and threatened to not see my brother again. We're both so frustrated and worried. He was released to home yesterday and has to health care workers who stay all day and all night; but at this point in time, I really think he will be sending them away soon and relying solely on my mother for care even though she can't physically handle him. He gets so agitated, that my brother and I have had to finally just leave him to his own devices and call to check on them daily. Anything more than that seems to drive him over the edge. We are at our wits end.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-60130735781926683782012-02-23T18:57:20.086-05:002012-02-23T18:57:20.086-05:00Lovely! Prashant does great work!Lovely! Prashant does great work!Suchitra Chandernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-21955522141755967482011-11-16T12:48:29.892-05:002011-11-16T12:48:29.892-05:00poiwOW..... 2012 AND NOTHING HAS CHANGED.. my sis...poiwOW..... 2012 AND NOTHING HAS CHANGED.. my sisters and I are going through this now with our 88yr old parents, who live at home and DRIVE. I could list all the problems but just read all the posts and you will see what we are going through.. thank you for the insightAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-28391414027131436082011-09-28T09:16:57.569-04:002011-09-28T09:16:57.569-04:00This blog should continue, as there are many child...This blog should continue, as there are many children of elderly parents that need to ask for advice and/or vent their frustrations on this subject. My father passed away recently, and I always knew that the responsibility to take my Mom in would fall on me (my 2 brothers live 265 miles away). So far, we are working together, and my brothers and I have the best of intentions to provide the best care for my mother, and also to make sure we preserve our close relationship to each other. The only problem I currently have is figuring out a fair amount of room and board for my mother to pay me for her stay in my home. She suffers from dementia, and needs 24/7 supervision. She has the money, so the amount is the only hangup. It would cost at least $3900. for her to be in a supervised group home in the area, and even more for a nursing home facility. I live in the DC area, and would like to know how others handle this. I do not work much outside of the home right now, as I lost my job last year...but I was hoping to go back to work full time soon. Now, I would either need to pay myself a reasonable amount for her care, or bring someone in. I hope there is someone out there can share their experience with this?MicheleOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15843235340692415722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-70567148698101854362011-06-24T07:27:42.748-04:002011-06-24T07:27:42.748-04:00This blog is so old, I don't know if anyone is...This blog is so old, I don't know if anyone is still on it, but thank you for leaving it up as it was really helpful for me to read. My mother has been cognitively impaired all her life due to not getting enough oxygen to her brain during her mother's labor. Now she is experiencing the onset of dementia. My only sister is also cognitively impaired and my father was an abusive tyrant. I've been in the lifelong position of being responsible but not having the authority to effect very many useful solutions. The situation continues, but I have temporary conservatorship now and, hopefully soon, permanent conservatorship, which (hopefully) will help me protect and take care of her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-92168785565394494372011-04-23T23:10:04.427-04:002011-04-23T23:10:04.427-04:00Greetings Friends!
The bottled water boycott is a ...Greetings Friends!<br />The bottled water boycott is a battle cry for consumers to form a collective conscious in a process to rescues the planet, influence big business, save money, improve health, and quench the globe’s thirst with cleaner, healthier, cheaper water for all.<br />www.bottledwaterboycott.com<br /><br />Let's Unite & Change the World,<br />Carlton KrumpfesCarlton Krumpfeshttp://www.bottledwaterboycott.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-8610749484676470422010-07-31T10:23:07.861-04:002010-07-31T10:23:07.861-04:00I am estranged from my parents. Toxic and abusive ...I am estranged from my parents. Toxic and abusive people. For my own mental and emotional health, I have quarantined them from my life. I am an only child. <br /><br />Most of the posters feel a moral responsibility to care for their parents, which leaves them hamstrung. My question is, what is my LEGAL responsibility. <br /><br />Years ago out of concern and a need to clarify what my own future duties or financial responsibilities would be, I asked my mother what her end-of-life wishes were. She basically told me to F*** right off and she could take care of herself, thank you very much. I think she was offended that I was starting to think of such things, because she did not want to view herself as old. Still in her 60s at that time.<br />Whatever. <br /><br />But I'm taking her at her word. She's told me to F off, not to butt in? (she's done it more than once) I'm going to respect those wishes. If I get any phone calls from anybody, even if she's becoming a danger to herself and others, or a pawn to a confidence trickster, I won't take it on. There are worse things than becoming a ward of the state, if that's what it comes to. If she has made no preparations, then that too is a choice, a choice she made a long time ago, when she was compos mentis.<br /><br />I'm not going to protect her from the consequences of her own choices. Choosing the way one exits this life is still their choice. It can be painful and protracted, it can be narcissistic and self-absorbed, it can be disrespectful to others, it can be damaging to others, it can be unnecessarily financially costly. It's still their choice. How they do it is up to them. Limiting their ability to be damaging to my life and well-being is up to me.<br /><br />The distinction between moral responsibility (which is yours, and only yours, to decide) and legal responsibility is an important one. Don't let guilt cloud your ability to do right by yourself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-90881815549534619602010-07-20T01:26:44.497-04:002010-07-20T01:26:44.497-04:00Hi Linda,
Great to hear that you and Doug are at ...Hi Linda,<br /><br />Great to hear that you and Doug are at Sioux lookout.<br /><br />I'm at Jane's till the end of the month. It is a glorious space, and still invites wonderful conversations here.<br /><br />All else is well.<br />Regards to you and Doug,<br />PrashPrashant Mirandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17787997158597902734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-27599222390027060312010-05-03T10:32:38.322-04:002010-05-03T10:32:38.322-04:00Oh I agree and so composers are going to electroni...Oh I agree and so composers are going to electronic music, techno, jazz, ambient music... whatever flavour of the moment and actually some exciting stuff is coming out. I am kind of demoralized too with the state of things in the arts "business" these days. I recently left an organization where I began by working my tail off and trying to get the Board to do their side of the job. Failing that, my own wings got tired of flapping and trying to hold up the entire organization. Putting governance in the hands of community volunteers on arts boards means that you are always going to be pressured for conservativism and mediocrity in artistic programming while pressured to "put bums in seats" at an unrealistic level of expectation based on a mistaken idea that live symphony or chamber music has EVER been supported by ticket sales alone. 50% has always been donations, government, sponsorship (including inkind such as a free space). <br /><br />Check out http://musicisland.ning.com for my little hobby. In the videos, Torben Asp and AldoManutio Abruzzo videos are new music... and also Storm in a Teacup that shows a virtual multimedia art experience (rather poorly as it was so much different to be ON the teacup whirling through space)Linda Rogershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06638897185947547067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-88251115817544570742010-05-03T09:48:12.312-04:002010-05-03T09:48:12.312-04:00I should be forthright and tell you my name. If yo...I should be forthright and tell you my name. If you're interested, google Shane Fage.<br /><br />Anyway.<br /><br />I spent a lot of time working upon commissions here in Canada but mainly freelancing in Europe. I will say that it is a fantastic lifestyle but wow, it's no walk in the park. I remember saying to a colleague: "if one spent the amount of time they 'should' be spending upon marketing, you'd never get any writing done."<br /><br />So, yes, I did the best I could. I can honestly say that -for years- I only wrote commissions. One could say that I was lucky. I only remember working my tail off. Unfortunately, I broke even, at best.<br /><br />... but here comes the reality:<br /><br /> Those student loans weren't going to go away. Neither was car insurance, rent, et cetera. <br /><br />Jobs in academe weren't falling from the sky. They still haven't picked up.<br /><br />The reality is: If one wishes to do "real" composition, it is much, much more than a full time job. One works seven days a week. That's just the way it is. At the same time, a person has to earn a living somehow. Eventually, they have to face reality --and more government grants is not the answer. <br /><br />I've stopped writing. I don't see the point any more.<br /><br />It might seem that my post is about me. It's not. It's about a lot of people 'like' me. A lot of us have stopped. We certainly aren't going to make a living having our music played on an obscure CBC Radio Canadian Composer's link.Shane Fagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10812217738454407727noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20962313.post-80920495575738019152010-05-03T08:26:33.866-04:002010-05-03T08:26:33.866-04:00Oh and I would not measure the strength of the res...Oh and I would not measure the strength of the response by there being only 3 posts on my blog. My article was one of many in many blogs around the country and a lot of debate went on. People don't take the time to comment on blogs generally, instead they twitter them or send a link to a friend. Comments are quite rare.Linda Rogershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06638897185947547067noreply@blogger.com